Connecting to server…You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!Stranger: heyStranger: we never talk anymore you just lie thereStranger: did you ever ask me how my day went?You: lookYou: i’m under a lot of stress latelyYou: the manager’s been breathing down my neckYou: and we have those payments on the new porch coming upStranger: that dosent matter we hardly even talk anymore…and im pregnantYou: wait whatYou: seriouslyYou: are you sureYou: oh geez oh manStranger: yeah…i thought you should know…i mean we have two kids already but we can get through thisYou: alright alright let’s just stay calmStranger: ok…You: hopefully i’ll get a raise before the new kid arrivesYou: if not i’ll just have to sell my bodyYou: but that’s a long time from nowStranger: honey you can’t do that… not againYou: lookYou: i know i had an addiction, but i can control it this timeYou: i won’t become a whoraholic againStranger: well…if you say so…ill just have to trust youStranger: just trust me youll know when to stopYou: you know i can’t do thatYou: not since the warStranger: why can’t all this fighting end…im tired of having to raise children in this wartorn eraYou: speaking of the warStranger: yes?You: i’m pretty sure i lost all my reproductive organs to that hand grenadeYou: so how exactly are you pregnantStranger: funny story about that…Stranger: do you remember the mailman…ted was his nameYou: yes what about himYou: i don’t see how he could possibly be relevant to thisStranger: well…we had increadible passionate sex while you were out fighting in the war…You: ohYou: now i see how he could possibly be relevant to thisStranger: please just try to understand…Stranger: you were out fighting and i just needed a strong man to hold me at night.You: well hmYou: nope, actually i think i’ll just fly into a rage and physically abuse youYou: (this is me ragin)Stranger: Please no, youll hurt the babyYou: a mailman babyYou: you know how much i hate mailmenYou: it just had to be a mailman didn’t itStranger: i’m sorry honeyYou: on top of that, this morning a notice came in the mailYou: it’s our youngest daughterYou: she’s been draftedStranger: oh god…You: i was going to hide it and tell you she went to boarding schoolYou: but now i’m just so dang madStranger: i… i don’t know what to say…You: which means in a few short weeksYou: she’ll be shipping out to the Superdeath Volcano Islands to fight against the invincible doombotsStranger: OH DEAR HEAVENS NOOO NOT THE DOOMBOTS!!!You: i’ve seen the war with the doombots firsthandYou: we didn’t stand a chanceYou: and she’s ONLY SEVENStranger: why on earth would they send a child to do such a thing…Stranger: what is the news from the frontlines, if you know?You: well the doombots have gotten stronger, i’m toldYou: now they’re mega-doombotsStranger: oh…oh dear god…not our little jessicaYou: also all the soldiers have become infected with malariaYou: and AIDSStranger: how could this happen!?You: and something called Ultimate Doom Plague, whatever that isStranger: Honey, after this mailman’s baby is born…I’m going to enlist myself into the army.Stranger: I just cant stand the thought of jessica being out there to fight these thingsYou: ClarisseYou: Jessica will be dead within hours of reaching the frontYou: if not minutesStranger: i know…Stranger: but i must avenge my child.You: the mega-doombots have lasers and orbital weapons platformsYou: our soldiers get two bullets some string and a hunk of breadStranger: Trust me…i can do this…i’m going to kill as many of those bastards as i canYou: technically they are unliving abominations of technology and dark magic, so you can’t kill themYou: secondly they are completely indestructibleStranger: I…I just seem to lose the will to live anymore, Roger…this…this just hurts so muchYou: the world we live in just seems like complete nonsense sometimesYou: as if…someone just made it up on the spotYou: but you have to live, Clarisse!You: for the childrenYou: wellYou: i guess just for the child, nowStranger: what…what do you mean…Roger?You: well i got the test results back from the doctorStranger: oh that’s right jesssica being ripped limb from limbStranger: what do the results say?You: they say that your next child has a 98% chance of stillbirthStranger: oh no…Stranger: Damn that mailman and his heroine problemsYou: actually the doctor said it was due to your rampant alcoholismStranger: oh…You: you need to stop drinking ClarisseStranger: I just cant help it… ever sense this damned war that took my brother and fatherYou: don’t forget your daughterStranger: Fuck…that tooYou: hey HEYYou: see you’re drinking right nowYou: give me that bottleStranger: NO!! IT’S MINE DAMNIT AND IT’S GONNA MAKE THIS ALL BETTER!!!You: GODDAMMIT ALL CLARISSEYou: WHY WON’T YOU-Stranger: JUST WHAT ROGER…WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!!!You: THIS ISN’T WHY WE CAME TO AMERICAYou: WE HAD DREAMS AND AMBITIONS DAMMITStranger: THEN WHY DID WE ROGER, WHY!Stranger: JUST TO BE KILLED BY THESE DEATHBOTS!?You: I CAN’T CHANGE THATYou: I WENT AND I FOUGHT, ALL I GOT WAS MY JUNK EXPLODEDStranger: oh god…roger… i think my water just broke…You: what??You: oh godStranger: THIS CHILD IS GONNA COME OUT!!!You: WE’VE GOT TO GET TO THE HOSPITALStranger: GET THE CAR…NOWYou: HURRY HURRY HURRYYou: GET INStranger: okYou: just breathe okay it’s all gonna be okayStranger: it’s all gonna be okay…it’s all gonna be okay…You: dammit why is there all this trafficStranger: because…BECAUSE THE DEATHBOTS ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!!You: OH GODYou: LOOK UP IN THE SKY, THEY’RE HEREStranger: NO…THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING…NOT NOWStranger: Roger…You: HANG ON CLARISSE!You: I’M GOING TO TRY AND OUTRUN THEM!Stranger: I…I Love you…i always have…You: Clarisse…I…You: OH NO WE’RE GOING TO GO OFF THE BRIDGEStranger: I…I think i see jessica…just hang on baby…i’m coming to get youYou: don’t say that ClarisseYou: i need you more than all the worldStranger: there may be only a 2 percent chance this child may live…but promise me…promise me you will take care of her…You: Clarisse, the car is sinking into the seaYou: it’s too late for usStranger: it may be… it …just…may…You: i just wish…it didn’t have to be like this…Stranger: i’m sorry roger…but i just don’t see a way out of this…You: shhhYou: i knowYou: let us go with dignityStranger: all right…before the deathbots find us…You: also, sharksYou: i just noticed the sharksStranger: oh god…your kidding me…Stranger: do they have lasers…attached to their foreheads?You: my godYou: they doYou: they’re…You: they’re doombot sharksStranger: damnit, cant those doombots just let us die in peaceYou: if they did that they wouldn’t be doombotsStranger: Roger…get the gun from the glove compartment…before the sharks break in to the carYou: yes…it’s better that way…You: it’s heavier than it looks…You: who will go first?Stranger: i… i guess i will…to spare the childYou: all…all right, ClarisseStranger: Good bye Roger…Stranger: i love youYou: i always loved you ClarisseStranger: (Clarisse pulls the trigger)Stranger: (she and her child have died)You: oh…oh Clarisse…You: CLARIIIIIIISSEYou: DAMN YOU TO HELL SHARK DOOMBOTSYou: TAKE THIS AND THISYou: oh goodness i’ve shot out the windowYou: leaking fast nowYou: right, let us put an end to this…You: let me be with my love again…You: steady now Roger…You: (Roger pulls the trigger)You: (he has died)You: FINStranger: What the fuck manYou: WowStranger: what the fuck was thatYou: It was…as beautiful as it was terribleStranger: so…Stranger: asl?Stranger: jkYou: hahahaYou: this is one for the archivesStranger: yes it is, yes it isYou: and with thatYou: Farewell, ClarisseStranger: Goodbye roger… till next timeYou have disconnected.